Out and About - Thirty-three lockboxes say it all

For the uninitiated, lockboxes are devices that real estate agents put outside of properties for sale; they securely hold keys that only other agents can obtain for access to apartments and single-family homes seeking buyers. You can find 33 of them – lockboxes, not buyers - arrayed on a chain-link fence outside a recently completed condominium off Massachusetts Avenue a couple of blocks from the Convention Center. The apartments to which they provide entry have never been occupied; almost certainly without exception, they went under contract months, even years ago, with investors as purchasers. Now, they go begging.

The 33 lockboxes represent stark evidence that some folks thought the enduring hot market would last forever. They are proof that investing in real estate is not for amateurs seeking to hop on a bandwagon that chugs ahead on a road bereft of detours and potholes. Those lockboxes suggest that the investors who were looking to make a killing by flipping are likely, instead, to get killed by their losses.

To prospective buyers who held off in the belief that the market would cool, the warm glow of vindication may color their cheeks. But the persistent gusts of rising interest rates - which, after all, have contributed perhaps more than anything else to the return to a more balanced market – have chilled their passion for purchase. Buyers are unlikely to experience much sympathy for those investors now weighing whether to take their losses at the closing table now or take them monthly with rents that fall short of their expenses.

So it is that you can count on multiple open houses every weekend, though not multiple offers, at that handsomely designed condominium that is advertised, with unmitigated hyperbole, as being in Logan Circle. Five of them were open last Saturday, and they suffer from a blinding sameness. Think hardwood floors that are dark or light, maple cabinets, granite countertops, odd-shaped rooms, small bedrooms and curved halogen track lighting. Imagine views that tend to be of other buildings through tall windows; consider tiny balconies or, in one case, a terrace atop the garage entrance; frown at kitchen cabinetry that merely appears to be high end and at stainless appliances that don't even pretend to be such; and guess where condos fees ranging from the mid-$170s to the mid $270s will end up when the developer departs.

Most important, ask yourself why, in this market, sellers competing with each other would have the temerity to be offering condos at around $500 per square foot. The answer is obvious: They paid too much originally for those apartments, and they can't stomach the pain of a loss. Thirty-three lockboxes speak loud and clear. The owners of those units must be flipping out, so long have their investments gone unsold.

Other properties that have been listed by various agents and seen in past week:

• In Georgetown, a darkly decorated two-bedroom, one-bath co-op with hardwood floors, high ceilings, easy street parking and an older kitchen. Saddled with an awkwardly shaped small living room in a cat-friendly building, this 1,258-SF apartment does have a formal dining room. The owners reduced the price from $675,000 to $649,000 after three weeks on the market, with a $698 monthly fee that covers taxes, heat and assorted other expenses. The owners are in no hurry to sell, according to the listing agent, so they won't be disappointed when this unit languishes for a much longer time.
  
• A pleasant one-bedroom Dupont Circle co-op with hardwood floors, high ceilings and built-in bookcases. Although the bath is cramped, the kitchen lacks flash, the air conditioning comes from window units and a parking space is not included, this 850-SF apartment in a pet-friendly building is offered at a reasonable $369,900 with $625 monthly fee that covers utilities and taxes.
  
• In Chevy Chase, D.C., an immaculate colonial with a beautifully landscaped rear yard, well-proportioned rooms, detached garage, deck, walk-up attic and powder room on the main floor. The three bedrooms on the second floor share two baths, each of them with period black-and-white tiles. Adjoining the reasonably bright recreation room in the basement are a laundry, quarter bath and a bedroom through which you must pass to reach the walkout. It's a 70s kitchen with pantry, serviceable enough but out of fashion. This home is listed appropriately at $855,000.
  
• An attached rowhouse in the U Street Corridor that needs a complete makeover. Including a dreary and nearly unusable lower level that is imaginatively described as an English basement, this home has four bedrooms and two-and-a-quarter baths. Almost none of the improvements over time were done right – e.g. that quarter bath with a toilet on some sort of platform squeezed into what may have been a hall closet, the SubZero in a laminate kitchen, a washer that has to be rolled into place for use, and the lime-green tiles in the single bath upstairs. There's a skylight but no central air conditioning, and the floors are in desperate need of refinishing. The one asset this property has is the original woodwork everywhere. At $749,999, this house is laughably overpriced – by around $200,000.
  
• A colonial in American University Park with three bedrooms and one and a half baths upstairs, a finished attic now used an office, an unfinished basement and a lovely added family room that is open to the kitchen, which has been partially updated with granite but not new cabinets or appliances. Sitting on a large level lot, this home with detached garage has its charms, not counting the pink clouds painted on the ceiling in the finished attic – who could make this up? Still, the offering price of $799,000 is in line with the market and bait for multiple offers.
  
• In Columbia Heights, a newly completed condominium with typical look-alike units. At least they look nice, with good design that, for a change, does not skimp on closet space. The apartments feature hardwood floors, big windows (some with expensive glass bricks if they are close to other buildings), attractive open kitchens with Silestone countertops, stainless appliances and excellent cabinetry, in-unit washer/dryers, airy spaces and bedrooms that, as usual, are notably smaller than the living areas. Ranging between 759 and 870 square feet, the one-bedroom units are listed between $384,900 and $399,900 and have monthly fees around $200, with parking for sale. The two-bedroom units are 900 to 1,141 square feet and have fees between $220 and $276 but come with parking. Upgrades such as tub glass and pendant lighting cost up to $1,200. Per square foot, the one-bedroom condos are $460-507; the two-bedroom units are $526-555/SF. For a transitional block, that's a bit high.
  
• A Dupont Circle classic Victorian rowhouse that seems to have tried the patience of the owners, whose half-hearted attempts at renovation contribute to an ambience of neglect and a sense that it will take lots of money to make the place desirable. For example, the poorly laid out L-shaped kitchen has new appliances that are spaced far apart, cheap cabinets and the uncontestable need for a smart center island. And between the second and third levels is a staircase that has been partly finished. Elsewhere in the house's more than 4,000 square feet, paint has been slopped onto the walls. In all, there are four bedrooms and three baths, including an English basement that rents for $1,600 monthly. With a rear patio but no place to park, the current owners rent a space next door for $150 a month. All this would not be so bad if the price were not a breathtaking $1.45 million.
  
• In Berkley, a breathtaking six-bedroom, four-and-a-half-bath multi-level house with heated pool, gazebo, soaring trees on a quiet street that backs up to Battery Kemble Park, yet is a stone's throw from numerous neighborhood amenities. There are walls of glass looking into the verdant park, a movie screen that is hidden in the ceiling of the master bedroom, enormous closets, an expansive kitchen that is slightly out of date, five fireplaces, a breakfast room, home office and marble in the baths. This stunner is very well priced at $1.9 million.
  
• A completely renovated Logan Circle condo that occupies the bottom two floors, as in English basement, of an attached rowhouse that had collapsed on itself. It is a nice apartment with three bedrooms, three and a half stylish baths, an expensively equipped kitchen, good light, even downstairs, and secure parking. The hardwood floors are hickory, the ceilings are high, and there is Bosch in the laundry room. But a master bedroom behind the kitchen will not be to everyone's liking; and the carpeted downstairs bedrooms, even if two are combined, do not represent the height of fine living for buyers being asked to shell out $1.135 million, or $600 per square foot. This condo, which carries a $500 monthly fee that covers only the master insurance policy and snow removal, first went on the market while under construction half a year ago and again at the end of April at $1.195 million. Now, after three weeks at the new price, it is still too expensive.
  
• In Georgetown, a large colonial overlooking Tudor Place – which must be the only explanation for the exorbitant price. Yes, it has an outdoor swimming pool in a gorgeously landscaped rear garden, a kitchen the size of Minneapolis, five bedrooms, four and a half baths, hardwood floors, a detached garage and a library. Built in 1980, this house, which seems to have been designed for entertaining, also boasts a flawed layout, at least for one that costs so much. For example, entry is into a spacious hall flanked by two of the bedrooms, then up a flight of stairs to the living area. Compared with the Berkley property, in a decidedly less fashionable neighborhood, the offering price of $3.45 million is ridiculous but apparently aimed only at social climbers with seeking snob appeal and snubbing sane judgment.
  
• A beautifully expanded red brick Colonial in Wakefield on a large, level lot with fully fenced patio and yard. Great features include an appealing family room with cathedral ceiling, den, powder room, and separate dining room on the first floor. On the second floor, there is a master bedroom suite with full bath plus two additional bedrooms and another full bath. The third floor has a fourth bedroom, with sitting area and full bath. The large lower level boasts a rec room plus laundry, half bath and ample storage. At $924,900, this home is attractively priced.